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A FEW ‘HULKY’ THINGS TO GET YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE THROUGH THE DAYS

Philadelphia Union Hulk is back with an update and a message of positivity

MCM London Comic Con Photo by Ollie Millington/Getty Images

Hi dee ho there it’s your old pal Philadelphia Union Bruce Banner and stuck in quarantine so long it’s almost a quaran-adult! Lol just having some fun. Is it getting warm in here?

ALLLO ALLO ALLO LOVES IT YOUR HULKY BACK ON BROTHERLY GAME. HULKY WAS BANNED FROM BROTHERLY GAME AS LAST TIME HULKY WROTE SOMETHING THE EDITORS AT THE TIME SAY THAT IT DIDNT MAKE SENSE. THEY MUST HAVE FORGOTTEN THAT THIS A HULKY AND NOT MARK TWAIN. THANK U TO BROTHER GAME FOR KNOWING HULKY DONT MAKE SENSE BUT STILL HAD THEIR HULKY BACK.

HULKY BEEN CONTACTED BY UNION FANS LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS. ASKING TO MAKE THEM SMILE OR TO HAVE SPIRITS LIFTED. U CAME TO THE RIGHT PERSON. IF ANYONE CAN HELP U THROUGH THESE TIMES IT HULKY. HULKY DO SAME THING EVERY DAY. DRUNK DIAL RONALDINHO SEND JAY SUGARMAN POST ITS WITH NAMES OF BUYERS FOR THE UNION AND THEN PBR AND JALAPENO POPPERS TIL HULKY FALL ASLEEP UNDER COMMODORE BARRY BRIDGE. SO HULKY GOING TO MAKE A LIST OF THINGS TO KEEP UNION FAN SPIRITS UP. UNION FANS ARE THE ROWDIEST AND RANDIEST AND BEST LOOKING FANS IN ALL OF MLS. THIS AN ACTUAL CONFIRMED STAT. MLS HALL OF FAME USED TO HAVE A PHOTO OF UNION FANS UP IN THE HALL OF FAME BUT EVERY VISITOR HELD UP THE LINE TO STOP AND WANK TO IT SO THEY HAD TO TAKE IT DOWN. UNION FANS DESERVE HAPPINESS AT ALL TIMES AND HERE HOW TO HAVE IT

FRED TWITTERS. DID YOU SEE FRED DANCING? IT JOYFUL. EVERYONE NEED TO SEE IT. FRED TAGGED NEYMAR IN THAT. NEYMAR DIDNT DESERVE ALL THAT JOY TO HIMSELF. ALSO ANYONE NOTICE FRED NOW HAVE SOME SERIOUSLY #COOLHAIR?

ONE TIME NY RED BULL CALLED RONALDINHO TO SIGN HIM AND RONALDINHO WAS TOO DRUNK TO TALK ABOUT IT. HE #ONEOFUS

WHEN THIS ALL OVER HULKY GOING TO HUG U ALL NOT JUST NORMAL HUG BUT 15 MINUTE LONG WEEPY GOOD WILL HUNTING HUGS. ALSO IF ANYONE NEEDS A HULKY BUTT SELFIE DURING THIS TIME LET HULKY KNOW

JIMMY MCGLAUGHLIN AND AUSTIN BERRY SCHEDULED TO COME BACK TO US ALL ON ALUMNI NIGHT. TIM MCDERMOTT BEEN DOING GOOD JOB MAKING THINGS RIGHT WITH UNION LEGENDS THESE DAYS. HE BRING CALIFF BACK LAST TIME AND NOW AUSTIN COME BACK TO US AFTER UNION DEPORTED HIM TO KOREA. EVEN KIM JUNG UN STAYING ALIVE JUST TO SEE UNION MAKE THINGS RIGHT WITH AUSTIN.

GARETH BALE WANT TO COME TO MLS. HE HAVE #COOL MAN BUN AND DO WELL WITH UNION. SEE YOU SOON GARY BAE. U BE VERY HAPPY HERE.

PAX. WHEN MINI MEDFORD MESSI COMING? EVEN JIM JIM EXCITED ABOUT HIM. SPEAKING OF WHICH.

JIM JIM HAS LOTS OF TIME RIGHT NOW FOR ONLINE SHOPPING. U KNOW WHEN UNION COME BACK JIM JIM BE WEARING VERY COOL NEW PASTEL PANTS FOR US

GERARD PIQUE OUT THERE WEARING A PHILADELPHIA SHIRT. U KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN. DEAL AS GOOD AS DONE. SHAKIRA BE VERY HAPPY HERE.

UNION TWITTER PERSON. THEY DOING FINE JOB. WHAT MAKE THIS FUN IS UNION TWITTER NOT TAKING ITSELF TOO SERIOUS. WORLD COULD BLOW UP ANY SECOND NOW AT LEAST UNION TWITTER IS MAKING THINGS #FUN

THERE A FEW THINGS TO GET YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE THROUGH THE DAYS.

DO HULKY FAVOR READERS OF BROTHERLY GAME. LOOK INTO MIRROR AND REPEAT AFTER YOUR HULKY “I AM A TEN. AND MY HULKY LOVES ME”

LOUDER.

LOUDER.

HULKY LUV U.

HERE A LITTLE SOMETHING TO HOLD YOU OVER TIL SEASON COME BACK.