clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Union Hulk weighs in on recent winless streak

New, 1 comment

One of our favorite guest writers is back from Rico’s Lounge to give us his thoughts on the state of the Union

It's your old pal Union Bruce Banner here, Union winless streak continues and it's making me woozy. I feel....funny. I feel....

IT YOUR HULKY. THINGS GOT BAD FOR HULKY AS UNION FIND NEW CREATIVE WAYS TO MAKE THE FANS MISERABLE. HULK EVEN BLOCKED THE UNION THIS WEEK AND IT NOT THE RIGHT DECISION. IT NOT UNION TWITTER INTERN FAULT. IT NOT JIM JIM'S FAULT. HULKY SERIOUS. NOWAK GOT SAME RESULTS HACKWORTH USE TEETH WHITENER AND GOT SAME RESULTS JIM JIM HAVE PEACH PANTS AND GOT SAME RESULTS. IT NOT COACHING. IT THOSE OWNERS. THEY CHEAP. EVERYONE SAY THEY CHEAP SO WHY LISTEN TO HULK? BECAUSE ANYTIME YOU HEAR ABOUT UNION OWNERS THEY BRAG THAT UNION HAVE TRAINING FIELDS AND A FACILITY NOW. YOU KNOW WHAT THIS EXACTLY LIKE, IT LIKE TACO BELL BRAGGING THEY GAVE YOU A TACO BUT ALSO GAVE YOU A SHELL WITH YOUR TACO. IT SHOULD ALL COME TOGETHER. IMAGINE IF UNION OWNERS OWNED MCDONALDS "WE GAVE YOU BIG MAC....BUT WE ALSO GAVE YOU THE BUN" THIS EXACTLY WHAT UNION OWNERS SOUND LIKE. YOU HAVE MLS TEAM, DONT ACT LIKE HAVING TRAINING FIELDS WAS SOME AMAZING THING. WELL IT AMAZING THING FOR THE UNION BECAUSE THESE CHEAP OWNERS MADE PLAYERS TRAIN AT CHESTER PARK, YOU EVER BEEN TO CHESTER PARK? IT TERRIFYING. THIS IS OUR OWNERSHIP. HULK DRINK PBR BUT HULK DONT DRINK SCHLITZ AND WHY IS THAT? BECAUSE CHEAP IS CHEAP IS CHEAP IS CHEAP CHEAP. SHAME ON THESE OWNERS. THEY DONT DESERVE SONS OF BEN AND CORNER CREEPS AND ALL THE UNION FANS. ANY OWNERS WOULD BE LUCKY TO HAVE THESE FANS. JAY SUGZ PREFER TO LAND CHOPPER ON TRAINING FIELD WHERE KIDS PLAY JUST TO SHOW OFF. HULKY WILL UNBLOCK UNION. BUT WHEN THEY CALL YOU ALL TO #REDOOP TELL EM THEY DONT GET A PENNY UNTIL THEY GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER. SHAME ON YOU JAY SUGZ. SHAME ON YOU GRAHAM BROTHERS. THESE FANS ARE THE BEST IN MLS AND YOU ALL ARE BLOWING IT. IT GOING TO GET TO THE POINT WHERE YOU ARE OUTSIDE OF UNION FANS HOUSE WITH A BOOM BOX SERENADING TRYING TO GET THEM BACK. GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER UNION OWNERS BEFORE YOU HAVE TO LLOYD DOBBLER THESE LOVING FANS BACK TO YOUR EMPTY STADIUM.

LOVE,

HULKY

Editor’s note: Union Hulk is a funny twitter follow if you’re not following him already. No, it’s not one of the writers at Brotherly Game - he just emails Matt his screeds. No, we don’t know who it really is either.