Earlier today, the Philadelphia Union announced that Executive Vice President and Chief Revenue Officer Dave Rowan would be kissing a pig for financial literacy. I'm not sure how lip-to-lip contact with a pig coincides with financial literacy, but at least this graphic came out of it.
.@DRoUnion + = TONIGHT at 6:30 pm Head to the Toyota Plaza. You don't want to miss this. http://t.co/n6xx61ahhx pic.twitter.com/j9Z1ou4Pi0— Philadelphia Union (@PhilaUnion) September 20, 2015
At 6:30 PM, Rowan got on his knees and puckered up for what was likely his first kiss with a pig.
Here is Union VP Dave Rowan putting his lips to a pig. pic.twitter.com/oHC8To7eQz— John Rossi (@RohnJossi) September 20, 2015
Rowan must not have been the pig's type, as the four-legged guy made a run for it.
HE KISSED THE PIG THEN IT RAN AWAY OH MY GOD pic.twitter.com/S8HD7NskwH— John Rossi (@RohnJossi) September 20, 2015
As if this story couldn't get any weirder, in the time between the announcement and the actual smooch, some unsavory reports broke of a different David's interactions with a pig. In a mere five hours, this bizarre charity event was muddied by an even more bizarre scandal involving the Prime Minister of England. This actually happened, and it happened to the Union.
If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up.