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The Union's vice president kissed a pig

Like he actually kissed a pig.

David McNew/Getty Images

Earlier today, the Philadelphia Union announced that Executive Vice President and Chief Revenue Officer Dave Rowan would be kissing a pig for financial literacy. I'm not sure how lip-to-lip contact with a pig coincides with financial literacy, but at least this graphic came out of it.

At 6:30 PM, Rowan got on his knees and puckered up for what was likely his first kiss with a pig.

Rowan must not have been the pig's type, as the four-legged guy made a run for it.

As if this story couldn't get any weirder, in the time between the announcement and the actual smooch, some unsavory reports broke of a different David's interactions with a pig. In a mere five hours, this bizarre charity event was muddied by an even more bizarre scandal involving the Prime Minister of England. This actually happened, and it happened to the Union.

If I'm dreaming, don't wake me up.