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Philadelphia Union Sign Orange Traffic Cone to Play Keeper

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Just one more twist and turn to the humorous story of Philadelphia Union keeper position this season that continues to unfold.

Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

In a comical turn of events, both John McCarthy and Andre Blake went down with injuries in the same practice this week. While Blake's injury was a mirror image of what happened to his opposite knee in preseason, McCarthy kicked a ball off a teammate that rebounded back to knock him unconscious, which is almost as likely to happen as a grown man throwing a ball so hard he leaves his feet and lands face first in the turf, injuring himself in the process.

Yeah it's starting to sound like the script of a witty sports comedy, but this is a professional sports franchise and the show must go on!

The good news is that Rais M'Bolhi is back in Philly, although Curtin sounded unlikely to give the banished keeper his old job back. So the search goes on for who will play this weekend.

We here at the Brotherly Game were able to do some digging and found out just what the Union have in mind.

It seemed like a match made in heaven seeing as the Union expect very little out of their keeper, keeping in mind the lack of saves this season. There are 26 keepers in the league averaging better than the 2 saves per game that both M'Bolhi and McCarthy average and no team comes close to the 18 goals allowed by Union keepers.

The cone was brought in on loan from the Camden Yard's Security Team after the cone helped to post a clean sheet in fan attendance at the Oriole's game last week. A truly impressive feat that ranks first in lowest fans allowed past the turnstiles in MLB history.

Then, just as the position seemed settled for this weekend, tragedy struck once again.

The Union just can't catch any luck and will be back to trying to find a replacement for this weekend. The shortlist that The Brotherly Game has been able to uncover so far is a piece of drift wood from the Delaware River, John McCarthy's headgear, a pair of socks Faryd Mondragon left in the locker room when he left, and Nick Sakiewicz's resume inbox.

There have also been rumors that the team has canceled the Gym Class Takeover Program they have been running in fear of further injuries to players. More information will be posted as it is made available.