I HATE SPORTING KANSAS CITY
There is no team in Major League Soccer I hate more than Sporting Kansas City.
I have no respect for them.
I have no respect for their fans. I hate their fans who did not show up to see the Wiz at Arrowhead Stadium. Their fans who did not show up to see the Wizards at CommunityAmerica Ballpark. But when the team changed their name to Sporting and opened Sporting Park those fans all of sudden went "Oh we have a soccer team? I didn't know that. Let me jump on the band wagon and act like I was a fan the whole time." Bandwagon fans who like to claim that Kansas City is the "Soccer Capitol of America." Bandwagon fans who like to yell "Welcome to Blue Hell!!" Wait till their team sinks in the West this year. Wonder how full will the bandwagon will be.
I hate their organization. I hate that they call themselves the "Greatest team in MLS," What have you done? Yes, in the five years since the rebrand SKC has won the US Open Cup and MLS Cup as well as competed in Concacaf Champions League. But "Greatest Team in MLS" means overall. In their 20 years, their trophy case doesn't match D.C. United's 13 overall trophies. Their trophy case does not match the 5 MLS Cups that the LA Galaxy have.
I hate their owner. I hate Robb Heineman. I hate that he's arrogant. I hate that he's so full of himself. I hate that his twitter is full of him acting like a punk fratboy. I hate him constantly starting fights with Timbers owner Merritt Paulson. I hate him for his now famous quote from Howler Magazine, "If labor ever tells us they're going to strike, we'd be like, ‘Fine, we'll replace each and every one of you.'" I hate that he and the rest of SKC got pissed off over being called out on it.
I hate their players. I hate that their playing style is smash mouth soccer. Beat up on players and then complain and roll on the ground when they don't get a call to go their way. I hate that they tried to find every excuse in the book to explain why they failed in the playoffs last year. Nothing made me happier than to see this on the SB Nation soccer page the next day:
I hate that... I hate that... sigh,
I hate that they're not the Philadelphia Union.
I hate that their ownership group puts money into their team in order to make it better. I hate that their stadium is considered the one of the crown jewels of American soccer. I hate that they have some the best players in the league. I hate that Dom Dwyer, Graham Zusi, and Matt Besler are players the Union desperately need. I hate that their coach Peter Vermes grew up a town over from me and is considered the best soccer player ever to come out of Burlington County.
I hate that while the Union has only lost at Sporting Park once, they have a terrible record against Sporting at PPL Park. I'll never forget that heartbreaker at the US Open Cup semifinal in 2012. I hate that their fans (probably) don't have to go on social media and see fans turning on each other after a poor performance.
But I still hate them. I hate them. I.. I.. (opens window) CAREFREE WHEREVER I MAY BE! I @#*$&! HATE S-K-C!!!
Editors Note: It was erroneously stated that the Union had never lost to Sporting Kansas City. They indeed suffered a 2-1 defeat in 2012. Thanks to Twitter user @downthebyline for pointing it out.