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The Philadelphia Union Sign LeBron James!

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Oh man wow! That's a great signing for the Union!

"I am absolutely chomping at the bit to get on the pitch for the Philadelphia Union of Major League Soccer!"
"I am absolutely chomping at the bit to get on the pitch for the Philadelphia Union of Major League Soccer!"
Soobum Im-USA TODAY Sports

You see, LeBron James is a famous basketball player. He is a four-time MVP, and has won two NBA Championships with the Miami Heat. However, James has decided to opt out of his contract, despite the success. Rumors, sources, and reports indicate that he will either take less money to re-join Miami, or return to Cleveland, the town that made him. James became a free agent on July 1st, but he is STILL without a team! People have been wondering when this guy is going to make his decision. Well, I have some news for you: LeBron James is going to sign for the Philadelphia Union of Major League Soccer.

That's right, the greatest basketball player of all time will be signing with our city's soccer team. Confused? You should be. I have tricked you. LeBron James will not be signing with the Philadelphia Union because it is a soccer team, but I bet it got a chuckle out of you. I bet you went, "Heh, LeBron James signing with the Philadelphia Union of Major League Soccer. How preposterous!" I hope that was your reaction, as that was the purpose of this Epic Gag. LeBron James will not be signing with our soccer team, and you knew that, but you clicked anyway, you rascal.

While you're here, why not check out some of our excellent coverage, such as this, by Jared Young.

EDIT: Dammit. I didn't think LeBron would sign this early. Or maybe I did, and this fact has heightened the gag that much more? Expect to see this article again when LeBron's new contract expires.