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Maurice Edu Reported Early To Palo Alto In Suspected Case Of Too Much American-itis. Or Minor Concussion Symptoms

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Despite what everyone was told on Monday, Maurice Edu will not be playing tonight. Let's explore why.

Jim Rogash

With members of Jurgen Klinsmann's 30-man World Cup roster expected to report to Palo Alto this evening, it came as somewhat of a pleasant surprise that Maurice Edu (and Sporting Kansas City's Matt Besler and Graham Zusi) would be granted an exception to play an MLS game tonight and then report to Klinsmann following the game. Except in the case of Maurice Edu, that will not be the case. Instead of reporting after everyone else, Edu decided to do something else.

Maurice Edu reported before everyone else. So surely there must be an explanation for the sudden change of tune, right?

Well quite. That would explain it. Edu knows he is not medically cleared tonight but the symptoms are not bad enough to keep him out of World Cup training for long so he reported early to USMNT training and made himself look good as he is not guaranteed a spot on the final 23-man roster while in the process being near a world-renowned hospital should concussion complications arise. Makes sense.

But what fun is the sensible explanation? Given all the losing and fan dissatisfaction with the Union over the past month, surely there must be something far more sinister going on here.

1). Maurice Edu cannot escape the Union soon enough. He hates John Hackworth with every fiber in his being. It is not enough that the Union single-handedly brought Edu back into USMNT relevance following a period of exile with Stoke City; he wants out of this situation, and he wants glory. And when it comes to glory, USA > all.

2). Matt Besler and Graham Zusi, secretly tricking him to get a further advantage in tonight's contest, double-dog dared Edu to report to Palo Alto first. Never one to turn down a double-dog dare, Edu boarded the first possible plane to San Jose. For their next act Besler and Zusi will tell Maurice he has been traded to the Japanese National Team in exchange for Takeru Kobayashi.

3). Riding a bald eagle, T.J. Oshie swooped down on Kansas City and kidnapped Mo. First mission: take 100 penalty kicks.

4). Maurice Edu is too American. Which while great, he should not abandon his team like that under the false pretense of "concussion symptoms." There's no such thing as too American. You do you, Maurice. And you do America.