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Do we care? SKC Preview

“The point is there ain't no point.” ― Cormac McCarthy, No Country for Old Men

So it has come to this.  An essentially meaningless game will be our last chance to watch the boys in blue at PPL Park in 2014.  Sporting Kansas City have already punched their ticket to the playoffs (although nowadays shouldn't it be "swiped their card" to the playoffs?) so I wouldn't expect their stars and starters to feature too heavily.  That is a shame for an already embattled Philadelphia Union fan base as not only do we have to put up with watching a dead rubber of a game but we also likely won't get to see Graham Zusi and his magnificent tresses swanning around the field.  Neither is it probable that Matt Besler will be featured as he is supposedly nursing a sore hamstring after playing in the USMNT 1-1 draw with Honduras.  So, just what is there to look forward to on the field?

Look, let's be honest here.  We all know what SKC bring, and even with most of their first choice eleven out, and nothing to play for and being on the road they are still a team to be feared.  They play a very physical brand of footie and the Union are, well... pretty wimpy when you think about it.  SKC have very pacy forwards and our defenders are slower than the huge container ships that glide by on the Delaware every now and then.  Our midfield seems to have lost any semblance of creativity and spark and theirs is a tight, combative unit that presses and harries the ball.  So in short, it ain't looking too clever for us.  So, the question is just what do we have to look forward to on the pitch?

Fear not, dear reader for here is your hand-dandy print and play Brotherly Game Union Bingo card.  Simply bring this with you to the game and challenge your friends, nearby seatmates, and maybe even Dave the Beer Guy to a quick game.  Here's how you play.  Each player circles the six things in the grid that they expect to see at the game and the first player to cross off their six wins.  There - it is simpler than a Jim Curtin game plan.  So have fun and let us know in the comments what you would put in your Union Bingo grid.

Sheanon Williams throws his body at someone / something with scant regard for his own safety.

Amobi Okugo gets very angry at an opposition player who has ‘made a little too much’ out of a challenge.

Ethan White throws his arms up in the air (as if he never does anything wrong) at another teammate.

Carlos Valdes walks slowly out of his area looking like he has pooped his pants and doesn't want his legs to touch.


Whoever is in goal for the U is left out to dry and is scored on due to excessive ball-watching by the defenders.

Conor Casey takes a drink from the opposition goalie’s water bottle.

Vincent Nogueira gets clearly fouled very hard in the box yet does not get the penalty call.

Sebastien Le Toux runs, arms at a weird angle as if he is trying to take off like a baby condor learning to fly.

You mistake Fred for Fabinho (especially if they are both warming up as subs).

Pedro Ribeiro takes fifteen touches when two would have done the job.

Raymon Gaddis gets beaten down the line by a winger… Wait, that’s never going to happen – don’t circle this one.

Andrew Wenger makes a run off the ball that is about fifteen minutes too late.

Danny Cruz falls over / injures self in spectacular style

(AKA Free Square).

Maurice Edu does that funny ‘running with arms by his sides’ thing that makes it look like he is in fact a duck.

The ‘Warmup Guy’ cracks a joke with the players then lets them off the runny runny drill bits for a general stretch.

Brian Brown actually gets on the field of play.

Jim Curtin wears trousers that are just way too tight.

Brian Carroll’s cheeks inexplicably get redder than a Santa suit.

Fred does something (anything really).

Le Toux goes to take a corner and does the ‘let’s get pumped up’ thing with his arms.