Breaking News reports Carlos Valdes will return to the Philadelphia Union "next week"

Poetry Corner Kicks: Union 0 - Houston 0

You can just make out the shadow of the dragon there on the field. - John Geliebter-USA TODAY Sports

A Dragon, Trolls, and Lions- it all totally happened.

There are many out there that might try to tell you that this game was a bit of a snoozer. The highlights show missed opportunities and wasted time when the Philadelphia Union played the Houston Dynamo on Saturday. But don’t be fooled. Yes, there were missed shots, yes the game-play left a little to be desired, but there was more that went on here than the highlights would lead you to believe. The following is totally what happened...

The game was started when a dragon flew into the park
It dropped the ball onto the field right on the center mark
With shots from cannons, shrieks from eagles, a twenty-one gun salute
The players started passing kicks from boot to boot to boot
That’s all you saw for quite a while till in the twenty-seventh
Bruin struck a ball so high it soared clear up to heaventh
That’s when trolls took to the field and charged the players there
It took the grounds crew twenty minutes to end the whole affair
In minute thirty-eight again we saw Will Bruin miss
His shot went off the post this time, the rebound was dismissed
The halftime entertainment was the cast from Disney’s Frozen
The show was fine, they all sang well, but it’s not what I’d have chosen
In minute fifty-two the Union fin’lly showed some grit
But Casey’s shot was poorly struck with naught to show for it
Sheanon had a long throw-in that found Okugo’s head
But nothing came from that attempt, their play was lifeless, dead
A red card then was given to Sarkodie , this is true,
He got it for a sword fight that he had with our Le Toux
A parry here, a thrust right there, some blood there on the field
But Seba was the stronger and he simply wouldn’t yield
In stoppage time the Union had a chance to win it all
But Wenger’s shot flew o’er the bar, he couldn’t aim the ball
The game was tied and Houston players tried to walk away
But Lions came and ate them all much to their fans’ dismay
I hope in future Union games their scoring can increase
If not I hope I’m safe at home when lions are released

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